Today I am coming to you LIVE from thousands of feet above the ground (I am really bad with numbers, and distances, and temperatures, and really anything that normal people guess at in casual conversation... For example... I was going to tell you that I am 2000 feet above the ground... But for some reason that feels dangerously close to the tops of our houses).
So, I don't know how far above your head I am right now. But I do know that I am sitting in a plane, in which I have scored 2 diet cokes, 1 up of coffee, and 2 small bags of salted peanuts (I also paid $9 to get on the internet. Shhhhh... don't judge me).
I also know that I have 1:05 hours left until we land, because my $9 also purchased an in-flight all-knowing website that gives me important information that NO OTHER LAY PERSON on this plane is privy too... Unless they also paid $9...
My journey this morning started at 2am MT. That's right. 2am. Woke up (after 2 hours of sleep), let the dog out, put on some airport clothes (I am one of those people that likes to look good in airports. I don't wear sweats or sneakers. I like to dress shmancy yet whimsical like, so that when I walk by people they will think I am important and that I have important places to be. Don't judge me. I'm just being honest).
Shmancy yet whimsical like? uh oh. I think I am tired.
Anyways, I then packed my belongings into the car and picked Burley up from work at 2:30am. Yes. Our schedules are this weird.
He then took me to the airport.
If you're wondering what type of conversation a married couple has at 3am on a Friday morning in the car, when everyone else in the world is sleeping... It sounds a lot like the conversation that a normal married couple would have at 5pm after they leave their normal jobs: "Macey was so cute last night..." "Will you be awake when the internet guy comes to the house?" "I left a todo list and some cookies on the counter for you..." "Love you.. what are your plans today?"
But still... It's crazy how that one little 20 minute conversation can be the favorite part of my day. (SWOON).
So I get to the airpot. I sleep for an hour on the floor. I go through security only to find that to my dismay, I have gone through security for ONLY CONCOURSE A, and I, unfortunately, am flying out of concourse C.
WHO HAS SECURITY THAT ONLY GOES TO 1 CONCOURSE?
Apparently, every flight I have taken out of Denver so far has been out of concourse A. This morning was my lesson in detail checking.
So yes, I went through security twice. Took my shoes off twice. Got my hair bun patted down twice. Took my laptop out twice. You get the picture.
Nonetheless, I made it safe and sound. I land in less than an hour... And all this to say... I wanted to write a book review for you today (hence the title of this post).
PHEW - ARE YOU STILL WITH ME THRIFTARIANS?!?!
This book review will be short and sweet.
I am reading Mindy Kalling's "Is Everyone Hanging out Without me? (And Other Concerns)"
I have laughed out loud on this plane 4 times already.
Mindy is a writer and actor on "The Office" (Kelly).
She is hilarious. She has had some unfortunate and fortunate experiences. Both of which are hilarious to read about.
Here is a brief excerpt that I read today, as Mindy explains the differences between her and her character, Kelly, on "The Office":
"THINGS KELLY WOULD DO THAT I WOULD NOT:
- Fake a pregnancy for attention
- Fake a rape for attention
- Text while showering
- Consider driving away from the site of a vehicular manslaughter
- Plant evidence of cheating in order to confront a boyfriend
- Cry about a celebrity breakup
- Write a letter of support to Jennifer Anniston
- Write a mean anonymous letter to Lance Armstrong re: Sheryl Crow
- Use a voodoo doll
- Create an online persona to cyberbully a girl into being anorexic
- Blackmail a boyfriend into taking her out to dinner
THINGS KELLY AND I WOULD BOTH DO:
- Choreograph and star in a music video
- Fake our own deaths to catch a serial killer
- Cry at work occasionally
- Memorize our credit card numbers to shop online with ease"
Ah... I just loved this excerpt. If you know Kelly from the office. If you don't... I think it may still be. You tell me.
Ok... 1 more quote and then I will leave you alone (really, you could have stopped reading this like 2 hours ago, so if you are still reading, I give you mad props. Why don't you leave a comment that says "I read the whole thing!!!!" and I will write you back some really amazing congratulations. I will make them all unique... GO!)
Mindy talks about her shameless love for romantic comedies in detail (woman after my own heart).
She also outlines all of the notorious women in romantic comedies that we watch over and over again, yet they don't exist in real life. But for some reason we really like this. Here is one of the personalities that she describes.
"THE ETHEREAL WEIRDO
The smart and funny writer Nathan Rabin coined the term Manic Pixie Dream Girl to describe a version of this archetype after seeing Kirsten Dunst in the movie Elizabethtown. This girl can't be pinned down and may or may not show up when you make concrete plans. She wears gauzy blouses and braids. She decides to dance in the rain and weeps uncontrollably if she sees a sign for a missing dog or cat. She spins a globe, places her finger on a random spot, and decides to move there. This ethereal weirdo abounds in movies, but nowhere else. If she were from real-life, people would think she was a homeless woman and would cross the street to avoid her, but she is essential to the male fantasy that even if a guy is boring, he deserves a woman that will find him fascinating and pull him out of himself by forcing him to go skinny-dipping in a stranger's pool."
This one struck me so funny. I have TOTALLY wanted to be that girl (please reference my monologue about why I wear cool clothes to the airport).
Anyways... That's all I got. I know... Shocking.
Have a great weekend, Thriftarians. You guys are just the best!